Musings of a Mommy’s Heart

The table was covered with construction paper, stickers, red paper hearts, markers, crayons and more. The list of names was at hand, and Benjamin was ready to begin making Valentine’s cards for his first-grade classmates.

He decided to tackle the cards for the girls first. As he began working on the first one, he told me he wanted to write a poem inside. How do you help a first-grader write a poem? I certainly couldn’t use “How do I love thee; Let me count the ways!”

So I said, “Roses are red; violets are blue…” Benjamin liked that beginning, but wasn’t sure what to put next. He quickly vetoed my “sugar is sweet and I love you!” (Of course, I was only teasing him when I said that.) His daddy chimed in with, “If you didn’t stink, I’d love you,” but Benjamin didn’t even give that a second thought.

Finally he suggested, “I and you are partners forever.”

“Whoa,” I responded. “That sounds like a marriage proposal!” I recommended he change that to “You and I are good friends, too.” Benjamin liked that one, so that’s what he wrote.

I was afraid we’d have to go through the poem writing exercise for each card, but after the first one, he was content with “Happy Valentine’s Day.” I wasn’t about to ask him if the first girl is extra special, because we’ve been down that road before. Although Benjamin had selected one of the girls in his kindergarten class last year as his “girlfriend,” he is very embarrassed about anything having to do with romance.

As yet another children’s show emphasized the Valentine’s theme this morning, Benjamin exclaimed, “I hate love!” I tried to help him to see that it’s just the mushy, lovey-dovey romantic stuff that he doesn’t like. Love, on the other hand, is vital for marriage and parenthood.

Actually, Benjamin is very blessed to be able to be surrounded by the example of many stable marriages. The other day I was at the Laundromat and overheard two women discussing their relationships. One of them said she doesn’t know of anyone who hasn’t been divorced at least once.

Granted, my mother was divorced from her first husband, even before divorce became commonplace. But she was married for the second time in 1960, and my parents will celebrate their 48^th wedding anniversary this summer. None of my siblings have been through divorce, and this year will see us celebrate our 33^rd, 28^th, 20^th, 16^th and 14^th anniversaries. (My oldest sister would be celebrating her 25^th, but her husband died last year.)

At our church, couples are recognized on their anniversaries, and many have been married 30, 40, 50, even 60 years. Benjamin is definitely surrounded by the ideal of marriage being a lifetime commitment, as God ordained in the Bible.

So it’s OK for him to not like the romance stuff at this age. (After all, I covered my eyes whenever people kissed on screen when I was a kid.) When the time is right, he’ll see that love is a good thing, a forever thing.

Happy Valentine’s Day!